Rules are made to be broken

Even the better if you don't even make rules. Be it business, manners or relationships, rules are made by society.
Merriam Webster defines society as

a voluntary association of individuals for common ends.

Or even more precisely

an enduring and cooperating social group whose members have developed organized patterns of relationships through interaction with one another.

Society defines how we should speak, how we should act, what career paths are respectable, what life choices are good and which are bad or a mistake. We grow up with a certain life plan laid before us. If we don't have a first boyfriend by the age 14, it's weird. If we don't graduate by 24, we're weak-minded. Women are mostly influenced by the pressure of being married by the age of 30. If we don't share a living space with our partner, our relationship is disfunctional. And I could go on forever! But I won't. For the simple reason that I will no longer keep these thoughts to myself (hence a blog post. And please, feel free to share).

That's right, Society. This girl ain't playing your game! Never have, never will. As of the age of 17 (incidently, the year I came to Germany), I've always taken the back road. It's always been bumpy, but there was always a wild bush man to help me out of trenches (whoa, big metaphor here!).

During school years I was always the A-student. But with a twist. I was a trouble-maker with a halo. Rebel in disguise. Did tons of stupid (yet funny) stuff. Throwing the teacher's laptop out of the second story window, just to name one (my teacher found it hilarious, funny enough. Men are odd. But that's a different subject.). Pretty much the same with my career. I chose a very "alternative" way of starting my career. Then it was pretty standard for a few years. Making a big cut again now, though. So I'm back at having to take all those glances and remarks "oh, how daring!" or "that's interesting". By the way, "interesting" is a non-word. Don't use it. 

Relationships and what constitutes a healthy, loving, perfect relationship are also mentioned in the rule book, right under the chapter Man-made, unnatural living conditions. I am a strong believer that the human being is born as an individual. Every person has his own thoughts, opinions, ideas, behavior-glitches just as he/she has his own DNA. Sure, you might find your soul mate (also a non-word) with whom you have a 97% match. Congratulations! Go be happy, get married, have kids, write a book, plant a tree. For the rest of us normal people, society dictates us to melt and form one identity with our partners. More than often enough, this goes terribly wrong. Which is no wonder, since we are put under such immense pressure to find someone (before turning 30, naturally) and then merging our brains.

You know what really scares me? The fact that we automatically think this way. It's like we're programmed. I recently caught myself trying to define a perfectly healthy and wonderful relationship in the terms society provides me with: 

a) it's a relationship and you have to spend time together, commit and be enstranged from one another while still being tied to each other

b) it's not a relationship and something is wrong.

Thank god my consciousness gave me a good slap in the face in time. As in life, a relationship is just a word to describe a state which you define, which you set the rules to together with your partner. It's not about living with someone in a 1,000 square foot apartment with the same friends and bridge night on Mondays. It's about daring to make your own rituals and rules. And if that means that you live hundreds of miles apart, see other people, and are not ashamed to say that you are happy that way, then go ahead! 

It's your life. Isn't it time we stopped letting society and that program in our heads dictate it? Isn't it time we got the guts to stand up, smear soot on your cheeks and let out a war-cry (very liberating by the way)?

Modern Monroe

So these are the results of my playing with red lips. For many years I couldn't imagine it actually looking good on me. Now that I see it, and now that I am older and wiser, I rather like it.

Will be repeated in the future!

Ten years and the red lip

I've been wanting to try the bold red lip for ages. Before it even became totally hip and trending. The past ten years I have been concentrating solely on the eyes, with a short-lived field trip to the lip gloss section (uneventful, cause clear gloss is, well, clear). I gave up on the lips mainly because A) I have a thin upper lip and B) I really don't have the time between all my meetings to touch up on my makeup during my hectic day (working girl, guilty as charged...)

So what cosmic force directed me to the MAC counter a few days ago, you might ask. What else but a fabulous social event (aka a party). I have this fabulous little bandeau leather mini dress with fabulous 10-cm heels and an even more fabulous red chocker. That being said, my usual smokey eyes and tousled hair would have done the choker (aka la pièce de la résistance) injustice.

"I'm a lip virgin, you gotta help me out." I found myself saying to the hot-pink-lipped MAC girl. And so she did!

So tonight, when all of you will be enjoying dinner or getting ready for date night by doing a smokey eye, I'll be curling my lashes, omitting the eye shadow and going Monroe ;)

Results to follow...

Burgers and clouds

There's nothing like a road trip to spice up your Saturday. There are people who hate it. I personally am a big fan. Road trip = FUN for me. Alas, I was not driving myself (you know how much I love it). But it was fun nonetheless. Goofing off and eating junk food and talking about anything that comes to mind... great :)

And great cloud sightings while we were on the road!

Grant me a rant about rage

   

Pics: grillwilson.com, fanpop.com, tumblr

In society, anger is a very very scorned upon trait. But let's face it, it does happen. We get angry. And probably more often than we care to admit. We get angry about the little things, the important things, the shocking things. Everyone has their own little red buttons, that when pushed, a Vesuvius-like eruption occurs in our brains. Our blood boils up like a bolognese sauce that's been cooked too long. And we get that glint in our eyes (well, I do at least). And then all hell's loose!

Ok, Saturday might not have been a nuclear-reaction-madness for me, but it was pretty close. Let me delve into that dominating madness...

I was sick last week, so I needed a lot of rest and sleep the next days to come. Now, mind you, yes, I live in downtown Munich, which is NOT the province where grasshoppers chirping are the only sounds you hear as of 7 pm. I am aware of that. But I also live in a residential district, meaning people have homes here (it sounds blunt, forgive my drama today).

Note: I am a very considerate, forgiving and understanding neighbor. You're just gonna have to believe me on that one.

So anyway (doing a Dési-drift-off again...), it was 9.30 pm on a Saturday and I was getting ready to go to bed to get that needed rest and sleep. Which seemed impossible since there was very, very, horribly bad music on full-volume, no wait, concert-volume somewhere in the courtyard of my little "heaven in Munich" flat.

"Well, they'll notice eventually. I'll close the windows."

Thought gone wrong! Even through closed windows the horrid noise was blasting in (note the word blast, which is no exaggeration). So I waited 20 min. It didn't stop, got even worse, which was hard to believe at that point. At 10 pm, I decided to get dressed and look for the party-culprit. By now, the rage was speeding through my veins like Vin Diesel in Too Fast Too Furious. Boiling bolognese sauce doesn't begin to describe which point I was at.

I walked around the block and found the origin of the evil: next house, 3rd floor. I ran all the doorbells on the third floor (remember, rage in veins pumping hard). By now I was close to calling the cops because it took me 10 min to locate the party. A neighbor buzzed me in and just stood there pleadingly, "Oh, yes please help me. That noise is terrible." She wimpered. Why she didn't to anything about it herself is beyond me! I guess that just has to do with courage, but that'll be a different post and story.

I pounded the door, which was opened by a very drunk hag (again, pardon the language) and the mixed smell of ick and beer. Oh, and let's not forget the horrid music which literally gave me a bee-hive when it hit me full frontal. End of story is, I gave them my best (and uncontrolled) strict voice accompanied by the threat that I'd call the cops on them. I think they were pretty stunned, thinking back on their faces. But I think I would have been too if a disheveled blonde in ripped-up jeans, skull tshirt and black varsity jacket would have pounded my door at 10.30 pm. Only the ballerinas gave me away ;) Combined with my rage, I think they thought I was a skin-head or something.

Needless to say, they turned it down, closed the windows and I had a fabulous quiet sleep within 10 min of the incident. And their neighbors all thanked me as I was walking back down the stairs.

So my point is, people get angry. It shows you what you have in your belly, metaphorically speaking. But it's normal, embrace it. Just try not to hurt anyone or yourself.
I'm not defending rage or anger or anything related to it, nor am I glorifying it. Just saying it's human. Deal with it!

This story is dedicated to my officer, who urged me to write this post and who probably would have loved to have seen the scene live. 
Officer, stop grinning ;)

Feel the water

This magazine is fantastic! Not only the fabulous under-you-skin-photography but also the articles are worth it. It takes the daily routine out of you on the weekend.

And also check out their website: http://www.surfermag.com/ which has a very nice setup ;)

Pics: Surfer magazine

Wardrobe staples #1

After almost one decade of experimenting with styles and having experienced shopping successes as well as disasters (part of the learning process, right girls?), I think I am ready to say, that I have found a good, solid direction for myself. Mind you, I am not saying I found my style, but my direction. I feel good and safe in my body and know what suits me and what just won't do.

One of my learned secrets is... psst, don't tell.... shopping in the men's department. This has become a trend in the fashion industry by now though. But before I read about boyfriend jeans and loose-fitting shirts, I was already scavenging the men't tshirts sections for size M tshirts that I could wear at home.

I remember in 9th grade, American high school girls were going all preppy and girly wearing extra-tight-fitting tops, bare-midrif, XS skirts and other very "Spice Girl" trends. As for myself, on my first school day in 9th grade I wore loose-fitting cargo pants, a tight tank top and a buttoned-down large denim shirt. I stood out, you could definitely say. But I adapted over the school year to the "tight" trend, never losing my signature oversized jacket though. My coats were always at least one size too big, as were my cardigans. I never lost my love of those oversized men's tshirts though. I still wear them at home, my boyfriends love them by now. They didn't use to, but what do little boys know, right?!

Today, I shop the men's department. I recently bought my amazing college jacket from the men's department at COS. At the cash register, the girl said "oh, he's gonna love that jacket!" I just replied, confidently and with a smile "it's for me actually." That caught her by surprise (for whichever reason, who knows...) ;)

Ok, getting carried away. Stay with me here!

If you don't have a men's shirt in your closet, I insist you get one! I have a white crisp shirt and a blue one, with light stripes. And I absolutely love them! Easiest way to wear is with fitted jeans and sneakers or even high heels, black, perfect!

Stay tuned for further wardrobe staples!

ps: for anyone following on instagram, I decided not to use the drawing. Didn't do it for me.

Coffee seduction

I remember my first cup of coffee: I was 18 and was working at a bar. During the day shift, I spent most of my time lugging around coffees to the guests. Cappuccino, latte macchiato, french coffee, black coffee, the variations are endless! Until then, I had never tried coffee before, mainly because I didn't have the impression I was missing out on anything. Until one day... not for the taste or because I was particularly tired on that day and needed a pick-me-up. But because the whole idea of going somewhere, sipping a cup of coffee and relaxing was very french lifestyle and even bohème to me somehow. I started off with café au lait (so almost no coffee, perfect for starters). Quickly I went over to cappuccino and sugared with a hint of brown sugar. Somehow I always found the white sugar very dull. It's just boring ordering white sugar, very mainstream. But hey, that's just me ;)

When I was 19, I bought an original little espresso machine (which I still have, but is rusting in my attic). And making coffee became a ritual. The smell filling the flat in the mornings or late afternoons. And I felt so chic! Now, true to form for espresso, one would have to drink it out of espresso cups. Being the american that I am, the mug is my choice of equipment. Thus, having an assorted collection of mugs in my kitchen is vital for the coffee ritual. And, of course, the brand of coffee is also extremely important. Find your brand, stick to it! At 19, I started with Lavazza (probably my mom's influence). Today... I still drink Lavazza :) In my opinion, it's the best for me.

Almost a decade later, I am a happy coffee drinker. But also a picky one at that. I only like good espresso coffee beans. If you want to aggravate me, send me somewhere where there is only cheap filter coffee. I flip! (Believe me, it's happened, at the airport of Mallorca to be exact after 7 days of cheap german filter coffee. But that's a different story.) I have also upgraded to a more modern version of my traditional espresso machine (which is why the first one is rusting in the attic... can't seem to part with it). And my coffee in the morning with a dash of soy milk is the best part of my day. I substituted the sugar completely a few years back for soy milk, as I am also a soy-convert by now ;)

What are your coffee moments?

For more coffee moments, follow me on instagram.

The first 20 degree Sunday

Sun, clouds and spring